For the first time in my life, I have a dream.
God has been doing quite a number on me since my return from Myanmar in November. I hit the ground running, and didn’t really give myself time to think or consider what my next step is going to be in life. I am on the brink of turning 23 years old, and it is time to make some choices. College has been fun, and I have learned a lot, but not enough. You go to college to get a degree and become educated in something, and with the degree I’m currently seeking (Liberal Arts), I feel as though I have learned… well, nothing more than surface values of subjects across the board. It is great for people who are striving for a multi-disciplinary degree, but I took the easy way out. I have prerequisites in everything from Criminal Justice to Economics to Chemistry to Sociology… to Anthropology… to Psychology… to English.. to Math.. and, well, you get the point.
So what does this mean? I could graduate in a year with a degree in the basics. For the rest of my life, I will stare at that extremely expensive piece of paper framed on my wall and think… why in the world did I do that? I have been discontent for months, and more recently, I have been begging God for direction. Last week, He gave me just that.
I changed my minor last minute to Studio Art in hopes of spending my last year as a college student in studios. I love art, always have, but I have always been too arrogant to be educated in it. I signed up for a painting class last year in Paducah, and I loved it. I am currently taking Printmaking and Ceramics, and I have just been elated.
I’m in my element. I’m with my people. I feel so… at home. I spend hours in the studio, then go home and sketch. I have been living and breathing visual arts since the semester started. God has been growing my confidence in who I am as an artist, but at the same time humbling me. His intricacy really is something to be praised.
Back to my story: I was joking around with a friend last week about her posts about Nashville. I have been wanting to get down there for months, and I know that it’s where God wants me post-graduation. I have an urge to get there, and I have been seeking this Lib Arts degree to hurry up and get going on my life. So, she made the comment that I should just move there and then I could be a part of their world daily. I kind of laughed it off, and went on about my day.
Later that afternoon, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. All I could think was, ‘Why not? I’m heading there anyway, why not look into schools in the area?’ I hopped on my laptop (not literally) and went to Belmont University’s page. Their art program seemed incredible. I decided to ask this gal about it more. I hopped on Facebook, and threw the idea out there, asking if I would even fit in there.
In this process, my heart was stirring. It felt SO right. I was thinking ninety to nothing about housing, a job, what it would be like to live there, go to school there, be immersed in the culture of Nashville that I have longed to be a part of for so long… If it was even POSSIBLE.
I texted my cousin, and began asking her questions about housing/jobs/etc because she has lived there for a bit of time. As I was texting her, my friend from Facebook messaged me and proceeded to tell me that she and her two friends/roommates have been looking for a fourth roommate for months, since October, but every situation has fallen through. She said she didn’t know how serious I was about moving down there, but if I was, I could live with them.
My jaw dropped.
I haven’t been asking God specifically for Nashville. I haven’t even asked Him for a single place or time or anything like that. All I have asked for is direction. And He has given me just that.
I know I have said this before, and I have even hesitated writing this post, fearing something is going to go wrong, and I will have to publicly announce all of this has fallen through, but it is time. I have a dream, and I want you to join me in praying for that dream to be lived out.
I talked to my dad today, and he said something pretty profound: I don’t want you to spend your life pursuing your dream… I want you to pursue your dream, and live your life in it.
That’s so awesome. And so true. And this is me, laying it on the line, realizing I have nothing to lose, and following what could be the first step to the rest of my life. Is it going to be expensive? Yes. Is it going to be trying? Yes. Is it going to be worth it? YES.
So, as I ramble on, I want to tell everyone thank you. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for trusting me to draw and sketch your children’s beautiful faces. Thank you for allowing me to paint murals on your walls. Thank you for your encouragement and your faith and support in me. Without even realizing it, you have made my decision so much more clear.
My dream is to wake up every morning and do art. God has given me this talent, and I want to bless people with it. I am willing to do whatever it takes to get there, and this is the first step.
So, Fam, I am begging you to start praying for me. Today. Pray that this process goes smoothly, that God provides every penny needed, and that I am doing nothing less than seeking His kingdom and His glory in all of this.
I love each of you so very much, and I hope that you are as excited as me to see where He takes me.
“But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
Romans 8: 25-28 NASB